Talk:The Immortal Alamo

Military history: War films / North America / United States

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GA Review

Latest comment: 9 years ago6 comments3 people in discussion

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Immortal Alamo/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 23:55, 16 December 2014 (UTC)

I'll review this one shortly. Wizardman 23:55, 16 December 2014 (UTC)

Here are the issues I found:

"The film was said to be just 10 minutes in length," not sure if 'just' is needed, given that most films of that era were a similar length.
"that has Mexican spy Senor Navarre who has affections for Lieutenant Dickenson's wife" this doesn't sound quite right. perhaps "...where Mexican spy Senor Navarre has affections for..." or something similar?
" to send word to General Sam Houston and it is Lieutenant Dickenson volunteers" and Lieutenant Dickenson's volunteers
Santa Anna and Santa Ana appear interchanged; keep it to one for consistency.
An infobox would be nice, though this is not a GA requirement.

Not too much to fix. I'll put the article on hold and will pass it when fixed. Wizardman 04:21, 20 December 2014 (UTC)

Hi, hope I'm not stepping on any toes by editing the article but I checked the review and saw it was really close to passing and that the article itself hasn't been edited since August, so I just did it. I changed a few other things you didn't mention so I thought I should bring it up; "made on scene in the Alamo" I changed to "...on location...", "on scene" doesn't make sense. I dropped the Dickenson where it said "Lieutenant Dickenson's wife, Lucy Dickenson" because I thought mentioning it twice is unnecessary.

Also having looked at the wider context of the article I felt that "and Lieutenant Dickenson volunteers" is the best phraseology as other mentions in the article suggest he comes back with other men, not leaves with them. I changed some other minor grammatical issues. I also added an infobox. What do you think? Any other problems before it can be passed? Biggs Pliff (talk) 19:44, 20 December 2014 (UTC)

It reads a lot better now, thanks for stepping in and making the fixes. Article now passes. Wizardman 22:47, 20 December 2014 (UTC)

Thank you Biggs Pliff and Wizardman. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 05:18, 21 December 2014 (UTC)

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